Wherever your heart leads you is the place you're meant to be.

HUFFLEPUFF
{ wear }

Penny. 19. From England. Completely multi fandom blog. I spend too much time reading fanfiction.

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darkly-stark:

ivorysorrows:

lil-miss-choc:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print. 
Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me
just
fucking
drop
some fucking
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.

What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.

Thank fuck, I love this post

darkly-stark:

ivorysorrows:

lil-miss-choc:

bonerack:

princessnecrophilia:

weeaboo-chan:

vhscars:

protest-resources:

50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada

Use, redistribute, print. 

Click image and magnify for large version.

Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.

so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex

it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine

i know my shit okay

im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid

Let me

just

fucking

drop

some fucking

knowledge on you right now.

Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.

So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.

Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.

Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.

Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.

Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.

And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.

What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.

And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.

Thank fuck, I love this post

vivacosima:

cos is that one kid who went on field trips to the aquarium and never got a keychain with her name on it

vivacosima:

cos is that one kid who went on field trips to the aquarium and never got a keychain with her name on it

never-kiss2morrow-goodbye:

If I could be the reason your hair’s a mess,
The bass drum beatin way down deep in your chest,
If I could be the voice on your radio,
Then I could be your long ride home.

If mine could be the name that changes yours,
The wine in your glass,
The swing on your porch,
The dollar in your pocket,
And the peaceful in your sleep,
Then I’d be what you mean to me.

Standing here, 
Watching you,
Turning every head in this crowded room,
The lights down low,
Dancin slow,
Oh, if falling’s how you feel, 
And perfect is what you see,
Then I’d be what you mean to me.

If I could be the fire in your firefly,
The cool in the rain,
The spark in your eye,
The answer to your prayer,
And the faith that sets you free,
Then I’d be what you mean to me.

Standing here, 
Watching you,
Turning every head in this crowded room,
The lights down low,
Dancin slow,
Oh, if falling’s how you feel, 
And perfect is what you see,
Then I’d be what you mean to me,
What you mean to me

And oh, 
All of this talkin makes you laugh,
But I’ve gotta let you know just how I’m feeling while I’m 
Standing here, 
Watching you,
Turning every head in this crowded room,
The lights down low,
Dancin slow,
Oh, if falling’s how you feel, 
And perfect is what you see,
Then I’d be what you mean to me.

Yea, 
Falling’s how you feel,
And perfect’s what you see,
Then I’d be what you mean to me.
Be what you mean to me.
Ohhhhh, be what you mean, what you mean, what you mean, what you mean to me.

A couple of years ago I bought a book at a car boot sale, today I opened that book for the first time and found this piece of paper tucked inside the cover. It just made me smile.

A couple of years ago I bought a book at a car boot sale, today I opened that book for the first time and found this piece of paper tucked inside the cover. It just made me smile.

I got rather a lot of new crystals today! So excited by this!!

I got rather a lot of new crystals today! So excited by this!!

noshameinoursickness:

kaerstyne:

star-anise:

edwardspoonhands:

Apparently if you have an anxiety disorder you can go backwards in time. 

Are you kidding? I can go back to that exact moment when I was 6 and I said something embarrassing any time I like.

well that’s just painfully accurate

recovery/mental-health/advice blog

noshameinoursickness:

kaerstyne:

star-anise:

edwardspoonhands:

Apparently if you have an anxiety disorder you can go backwards in time. 

Are you kidding? I can go back to that exact moment when I was 6 and I said something embarrassing any time I like.

well that’s just painfully accurate

recovery/mental-health/advice blog

(Source: everybodyhasabrain)

Fangirl Challenge: 2/10 TV Shows - The L Word

Gabby I really enjoyed the time we spent together but it is obvious to me that we are in two different places in our life and we want different things out of a relationship and I respect myself too much to let continue you treat me this way. Its clear to me now that you are a emotional cripple without any kind of compassion to understand true love and I’m no longer going to waste my valuable time on you. So step off Bitch!

(Source: flawlesstew)